I’ve known her for a long time now. My parents introduced us and I kind of grew up around her. In fact it was one the typical recommendations that your mom makes, “I like this friend of yours, you should hang out more with her”. Initially we got along just fine, I was never crazy about her as such, but we got along well. More than getting along, it kind of felt secure around her. She always seemed to know everything, and her sense of awareness about everything around us made me feel safe around her. It was an assurance that everything’s going to be just fine.
I’ve walked the surface of this earth for about 23 years now and I’ve known her for 22 of these years. Well, I know her even today, but now I don’t want to anymore. For the past one year, we’ve been in disagreement. To put it mildly, i am repulsed by her being around me. I just don’t identify with her ideas, I don’t agree with the road she shows me at the end of every heated argument. Maybe at a young age when you get introduced to someone, you just don’t give it too much thought. You meet, your folks approve and Bam! You’re friends. You don’t look around for options/choices coz it just seems natural.….. But as you grow up, you invest a lot more thought into whether or not you want to be with a person. So now, she annoys me. Annoys me ….. to the extent that I just want to drive her out, terminate her presence in my life. Maybe some years down the line, I will need her; I would want her to be in my life, by my side. But not now, I can’t stand her protectiveness any more…….
And trust me; I am working hard to get her out of my way. I’m trying real hard to make sure, that she doesn’t influence any of my decisions or let alone influence, I don’t even want her to be a part of them. I hope it all works out…… I have one last move planned. If all falls into place, she’ll be out for good. And she will not be able to make a comeback for at least a few years. . . . .. And If it doesn’t work out?…..that’s a question for another time…
I studied well in school, so that I’m certain to be in the first three ranks. I gave the competitive exams to just cross the cut-offs, so that I’m certain of getting a good college, I got a first class/distinction in my engineering, to ensure that I’ll certainly get a good job. I’ve been working for one and a half years, I don’t totally love what I am doing, but I’m still continuing to gather the work experience for a b-school, to strengthen the certainty of my getting there. Well, that’s the summary of these 23 years, and you have been with me through every milestone.
Certainty… It’s time for you to take another road and a different form…..….. I don’t want to hate you for the choices I make at the cost of still being with you. So go make someone else feel safe until we meet again at yet another crossroad….